Survival Tragedies and their ecstatic comedies…..

your question is y am i laughing???......... you will understand in the next few mins...





Listen guys out there… you should not laugh at others grieves… it’s a bad habbit. People fall in great trouble and unable to find help ,write to the experts for help. But we people who r more or less satisfied with the torn shoe named “life” enjoys a great deal out of such columns in newspapers and magazines…. But we should not…
Should and could are two words we use a lot for our responsibilities which we do not like to carry out… but still, the following few cases I’ ve written below to flash our shameless society. Every bit of it sending messages of humanity to learn something… keep reading below as I wouldn’t like 2 bore you philosophically and psychology any more….!




1. I am 22 yr old boy. I study in a commerce college. My problem is that my girlfriend is taller than me. When we started our relationship about 9 years ago, she was shorter than me. She loved me very much then . But now things have changed. She is 5 inches taller than me. It is a very shameful situation. She does not like going out with me or introducing me to anyone. I don’t like this. She even gifted me an exerciser from Telebrands. I have been using that for the last 7 months but its not working. Now she is no more interested in me. I think our relationship will break. I love her very much, no matter she is tall. I don’t want to loose her. Please help.
Estranged Lover.


Reply: Mr. Lover. Stop pining over things that will not change. You should have genetically cross checked her( via her parents height) and calculated how much she can grow compared to you. It’s very normal that she is ashamed. Even you would have felt the same, had you been in her place. People are walking out for 5 cms, 5 inches is too much. Please accept the inevitable and stop complaining about exerciser brands here. My advice is to forget her and move on… coz Love is no more blind nowadays. It checks and recheck and then again checks before committing and still could not give guarantee even as good as your ceiling fan’s company…

[ Moral- Love is too extravagant an emotion for the human race to afford. ]



2. I am a beautiful girl. I have a small problem and I know you can solve it. I have a father who has a mother. That mother is my mother. But I have another mother who owns my father. Therefore I have total 2 mother who does not know each other. That other mother is also my mother but does not like father. There is another father of that mother who is not my mother. But my mother knows that father and my father does not know that other father knows my other mother. But my father who is owned by my other mother doesn’t know that other father. But I know everything now. I stay alone in a boarding school. So my problem is…whom do I cal father and mother?

Anaita Jaiswal, Class VI, Blue house Prefect, Birla High- New Delhi.

Reply: No comments!!!
I mailed this question to a CAT paper setter and it might appear next year in the entrance. But personally I would like to strangle all her sets of parents that she has tried to permutate and combinate.

[ moral: we are much luckier than it seems to us]


4. I am a 32 yr old man. My problem is that my wife is a chain smoker. She smokes everywhere- car, bedroom, toilet even kitchen. Even the food she makes tastes like nicotine. I am a strict non-smoker as I have asthma. We do not sleep with each other, hence we have no children. Everyone laughs at me behind my back because my wife smokes and I cant. Things are becoming unbearable day by day. Whenever I see someone smoking, I misbehave. That’s affecting my pressure as I have high pressure. Tell me what can I do.

Hopeless husband.


Reply: Respected sir, what is your problem? Is it that YOUR wife smokes or is it that YOU CANT smoke??... That children part you can make understanding with your wife for 1 particular night and about your pressure, please show a general physician. Stop being a male chauvinist and try to talk it out with your wife rather than chiding a fellow smoker. It’s you who is feeling hopeless. Help yourselves.

[ moral: marriage is a commitment from heart. No one is boss, no one is slave ]


4. I am a teacher at a private school. I teach physics. I had been teaching in this school for the last 10 years and have made a note copy of mine from which I dictate notes to my students. I take very good care of that copy but last Saturday the most horrible thing occurred. Someone stole my note copy . Now I am shattered . I don’t know what to do. I cant take my classes.In this way I will loose my job. I think some student has done it who wanted all the notes in one go.. Please advise.

Physics teacher, south kolkata, std 9 to 12, call 943252990

Reply: Your are the biggest crook I have ever met on earth. First of all physics is not a subject to dictate. Its high time you spare the school and its deprived students. Had I known this 10 years ago, I would have burnt your notes copy. To hell with your job. And last of all, this column is not a place to advertise your sinking career. Don’t you dare write here again.

[moral- Education doesn’t exist anymore…. If interested, enlighten youself.]




5. I am a 24 yr old newly wedded girl. My mother in law is behaving very sweetly since I arrived . She has not behaved like all other mother in laws like I had seen in TV. She doesn’t not even brainwash my husband. She does not shout if I wake up late after my husband has left for office. She is very sweet and that is my problem. I am feeling afraid she might do some bigger harm. So I am very quiet. What do I do? Inform the police?

Shalini Srivastav.



6. I am a 52 year old widow. I live with my son and daughter in law. My son has been newly married to a girl who is std 12 pass. I don’t allow to do her anything as I fear she might do grave mistakes that will upset my family’s norm. She watches TV all day and does not show any interest in family. I don’t think so she loves my son , so I am not at all bothered that he will throw me out of the house. But I think she doesn’t not trust me. How do I know what she feels about me? Please suggest.


Ranika Devi.


Reply: Dear readers, I received the above two mails from the same address in the same day as given below:

Sri Teerath Srivastav
Nirmal Apartments
#39 Santa Cruz
Vasai.
Mumbai.

I think this Teerath named fellow is the unfortunate son cum husband, not knowing what’s cooking in his home. He better go to some “teerath yatra”. I just wish him luck and this mother- daughter-in law duo just write to each other rather than writing me. And for god’s sake stop TV serials with melodrama. Mom-in-lws can be good, so can be daughter-in-laws.

[moral-Trust is the healer. There is nothing stronger than trusting a liar’s lies, coz one day ur trust will compel him to speak the truth.]



7. Hello everyone(teachers, especially computer sir). I am a boy of 15 studying in the same class as my this friend from whose computer I am mailing. He is a very bad boy. He has virus in his computer and he gives those virus to everyone. Now everyone is affected. I am sending you as an attachment, an autorun virus for example from his computer. He cheats of everyone and get good marks in computer. I don’t like this. I study very much and still get 21 out of 40. this is not fair. So I am telling this secret to everyone. I know ritu didi is fair enough and she will print my letter . And everyone will know what is happening in my class. Now I am happy.


Prateek Laha. via e-mail.

Reply: sweet baby brother, you forgot to mention your cheater friend’s name to ritu didi. Now she cant help. She did her level best by printing your letter, rest we can keep our fingers crossed coz you have not even mentioned your school, class or even your beloved computer sir’s name. Please learn something from that physics sir of south kolkata. He has even given his mobile no. Lastly…next time don’t try to mail autorun or any such things u feel is a virus.

[ moral- when the shrewd complains about the rude… take a back seat and watch the movie]



Readers………………………………….and the trophy goes to………….


8. Listen everyone. I am going to commit suicide. I will kill myself at 12.56 pm on next Tuesday. I chose this time because my astrologer told it’s a very good time. I might get promotion in heaven. No one is responsible for my death. I am dying because I am thinking about my future which also needs to be secured, since it was my childhood dream to go to heaven. Now that all my 5 daughters and six sons are married I don’t have any tension. My beloved wife left me when my last son was born. I managed a lavish burial for her. I hope she has already made very good arrangement when I reach there in heaven. I will try to memorize my savings and investments in case she asks. But I don’t think so she will do that because she loves me and I also love her. She was very beautiful when we got married. Friends, I love you all. Please come to my “shok sabha” which my sons will arrange in due course of time. Please prepare your funeral speech from now only. Thank you.

Sitaram sethi.
Sethi villas.Owner of Sethi Enterprise and Sethi Water works.


Reply: Ritu is too spell bound to write anything, hence………………………………. !!!!



[ moral- The ‘fool-est’ is the happiest :P]




Enough of it Guys… now stop laughing…. Its bad to laugh at such grievous situations…You can still write to me… I will try to solve your daily problems. Any problem with the milkman, driver, newspaper seller, boss, maidservant, even ex-wife will be entertained here. Children can improve their grammatical skills with wren n martin till then and not torture the adult group by sending viruses. Teachers… stay away… especially physics, maths teachers…smokers and ni-laws, consult general physicians…or ur other relatives. I am paid to listen to such stuff, or else I would dealt with each one of them personally for mentally harassing me with such letters.I might even end up writing such a letter one day to suhel seth.



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PS… This material is copy right reserved. No part or piece has been copied from any magazine or any form of media. Even morals are given by me. Please do not try to forge anything…………. Till then, keep smiling..